Dealing with the after effects of a extramarital affair
You are probably here because you are looking for information and or help in your situation
- you have found out that your partner has had, or is involved in, an extramarital affair. For
months after I found out I was in a kind of crazed haze, with some sort of vain hope that a
site on the net somewhere would tell me something magical that would bring an end to my
pain. I suppose the operative word here is 'my', for a while at least I was very self centred
about my suffering.
Something I have learned in this whole saga is that pain is not the exclusive property of the
'betrayed', it is also familiar territory for the betrayer. There is also no magic book, site,
video, interview, person who can be anything other than a pointer, leaning staff and maybe
insight giver.
One thing that is not in short supply is experts on extramarital affairs - whose opinion do you
trust ? - In my own view - I tend to trust people who have had the actual experience. Not to
say that the professionals do not know anything but they are trying to 'cure' you of a
'problem'. At the end of the day - the pain will recede, you will forgive but not forget, you will
grow immeasurably and life can actually become a whole lot more interesting because this is
one of those big wake up calls.
Three years ago I would have written something quite different here - my partner was bad,
bad, bad and I was an angel just waiting for my heavenly reward. Anyway, what can I do to
help you? I decided after doing some research, about seven months after I found out, to
help myself and maybe others by setting up a support group. I took guidance from Peggy
Vaughan an Anne Bercht on the Beyond Affairs Network concept and decide to build this
site to serve the Australian extramarital affairs market.
So - what follows next is the practical business of the BAN concept.
You are probably here because you are looking for information and or help in your situation
- you have found out that your partner has had, or is involved in, an extramarital affair. For
months after I found out I was in a kind of crazed haze, with some sort of vain hope that a
site on the net somewhere would tell me something magical that would bring an end to my
pain. I suppose the operative word here is 'my', for a while at least I was very self centred
about my suffering.
Something I have learned in this whole saga is that pain is not the exclusive property of the
'betrayed', it is also familiar territory for the betrayer. There is also no magic book, site,
video, interview, person who can be anything other than a pointer, leaning staff and maybe
insight giver.
One thing that is not in short supply is experts on extramarital affairs - whose opinion do you
trust ? - In my own view - I tend to trust people who have had the actual experience. Not to
say that the professionals do not know anything but they are trying to 'cure' you of a
'problem'. At the end of the day - the pain will recede, you will forgive but not forget, you will
grow immeasurably and life can actually become a whole lot more interesting because this is
one of those big wake up calls.
Three years ago I would have written something quite different here - my partner was bad,
bad, bad and I was an angel just waiting for my heavenly reward. Anyway, what can I do to
help you? I decided after doing some research, about seven months after I found out, to
help myself and maybe others by setting up a support group. I took guidance from Peggy
Vaughan an Anne Bercht on the Beyond Affairs Network concept and decide to build this
site to serve the Australian extramarital affairs market.
So - what follows next is the practical business of the BAN concept.
|
How do I get involved?
The first thing to do is to read Anne Bercht's (click here) extensive web pages on affairs and
the functioning of the BAN. Then decide on whether you want to participate in the group,
which is based here in Sydney. Make contact using the details on the Contact SydneyBAN
page of this site.
The first thing to do is to read Anne Bercht's (click here) extensive web pages on affairs and
the functioning of the BAN. Then decide on whether you want to participate in the group,
which is based here in Sydney. Make contact using the details on the Contact SydneyBAN
page of this site.
What can I expect?
BAN is all about meeting face to face with other people whose partners have had an
extramarital affair. This can be quite confronting so it is not for everyone - but it is not just
about having a 'cry in'. It is about sharing and being supported and even laughing as you
recognise your situation in the stories of other people
Meeting with the support group does not replace the role of a therapist but does provide
caring and the wisdom that comes from the group process. The BAN coordinator in Sydney
will arrange the venue and negotiate suitable times for participants to attend meetings.
Healing from affairs is a long, slow journey - there is no cure except within the mind - take
care of yourself, and listen to this wonderful song!
BAN is all about meeting face to face with other people whose partners have had an
extramarital affair. This can be quite confronting so it is not for everyone - but it is not just
about having a 'cry in'. It is about sharing and being supported and even laughing as you
recognise your situation in the stories of other people
Meeting with the support group does not replace the role of a therapist but does provide
caring and the wisdom that comes from the group process. The BAN coordinator in Sydney
will arrange the venue and negotiate suitable times for participants to attend meetings.
Healing from affairs is a long, slow journey - there is no cure except within the mind - take
care of yourself, and listen to this wonderful song!
Extramarital Affairs - The Beyond Affairs Network in Sydney /
Melbourne
Melbourne
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Next meeting in -
Sydney: Saturday 4
April 3:00 - 5:00 PM
Email
sydneyban@iinet.net
.au for venue details
Sydney: Saturday 4
April 3:00 - 5:00 PM
sydneyban@iinet.net
.au for venue details
Free Teleseminars on Affair
Recovery with Australians in
Mind (Others are welcome to
join!!)
All of our past complimentary
teleseminars have been held at times
that are convenient in North America
and inconvenient in Australia. So this
time we will be holding ones that are
convenient for those of you on the
other side of the world.
Tuesday March 24, 2009 at 2:00 am
Pacific (6:00 pm Perth, 8:00 pm
Melbourne)
Monday, March 30, 2009 at 2:00 am
Pacific (6:00 pm Perth, 8:00 pm
Melbourne)
We'll be answering your questions live,
and sharing as much as we can in that
hour to help you in your affair recovery
journey. We look forward to serving you.
To register, please send an email to
admin@beyondaffairs.com and specify
which teleseminar (March 24 or March
30) you are requesting to join, if not
both of them. We will then send you
your call in information.
Please note: You will be calling a
USA telephone number, and your long
distance phone call costs are your
own responsibility.
Recovery with Australians in
Mind (Others are welcome to
join!!)
All of our past complimentary
teleseminars have been held at times
that are convenient in North America
and inconvenient in Australia. So this
time we will be holding ones that are
convenient for those of you on the
other side of the world.
Tuesday March 24, 2009 at 2:00 am
Pacific (6:00 pm Perth, 8:00 pm
Melbourne)
Monday, March 30, 2009 at 2:00 am
Pacific (6:00 pm Perth, 8:00 pm
Melbourne)
We'll be answering your questions live,
and sharing as much as we can in that
hour to help you in your affair recovery
journey. We look forward to serving you.
To register, please send an email to
admin@beyondaffairs.com and specify
which teleseminar (March 24 or March
30) you are requesting to join, if not
both of them. We will then send you
your call in information.
Please note: You will be calling a
USA telephone number, and your long
distance phone call costs are your
own responsibility.